Lets Talk About Sex

Gambian society, like the majority of the world, is governed as a patriarchy. Some countries more than others. Patriarchy is more evident in developing countries where the gender roles are more distinct. 

From the freedictionary.com:

pa·tri·ar·chy 

n. pl. pa·tri·ar·chies In both senses also called patriarchate.

1. A social system in which the father is the head of the family and men have authority over women and children.

2. A family, community, or society based on this system or governed by men

Basically rules and regulations are made by men and for men. And this includes the rules of sexual conduct. As an Anthropology major I could go on and on about this topic, but for now I want to focus on women's sexuality. Gambia is a Muslim state, but I'd call us liberal Muslims. Women are not forced to cover themselves even though some lil girls should be. I was in Gambia for the Christmas/New Year holidays and lemme tell you: you go to the club and it looks like the set of a Snoop Dogg music video. Little girls walking around with titties and azzes all hanging out. But I digress.

Along with everything else in society, women's sexuality is controlled by the patriarchy. When a young woman gets married, she's expected to be a virgin on her wedding night. Things have loosened up quite a bit since our parents' generation, but a virgin is still celebrated in our day -  especially tribes like the Mandinkas and the Fulanis. I'm not even gonna touch the subject of female genital mutilation (FGM) as a means to control a woman's sexuality, that's a different post for a another day. I just want to discuss the hypocrisy of this virgin-on-the-wedding-night crap. Yes, I said! IT'S COMPLETE AND UTTER BULLSH!T!

First of all, we're living in the 21 century and the sexual revolution waves have hit many remote societies. Looking back in history, I understand why there was a need to keep the women in check. That was the only way for a man to know that his offspring were indeed his own. And also, religion has played a major part as it states that sex belongs within the bonds of matrimony. Don't get me wrong, anyone who believes that sex belongs only in a marriage and are saving themselves for wedding night is in their right to do so. I respect that. What I have an issue with is the goddamn judgmental hypocrites.





I don't believe in saving yourself for marriage, especially since it only applies to women and not men. I would never marry a man I haven't had sex with, even the thought of it is ludicrous. If you knew that the one car you buy is the one you're stuck with for the rest of your life, would you go into a car dealership, find a seemingly good car and buy it without test driving it first? No? I didn't think so. The most hilarious sh!t I hear is men who claim to want to marry virgins. This is how I feel about them:

I bet cha those same men have smashed every nasty p*ssy they could come over and now they wanna marry a virgin. Get the f*ck outta here! This hypocrisy in our society has forced many young women to fake their virginity. I know many a Gambian bride here in Norway who claimed to be virgins on their wedding nights who were straight up LYING. These little heffas and their mothers making a big deal out of their "pure" daughters when we all know that she's been on her back more than a professional wrestler. And their mamas know too! Stop it!! It makes all of you look like idiots. The groom is also in on the f*ckery. It's insane, really. What is the big deal about entering marriage as a virgin? Does that make you a better wife and/or mother?

Sex is a beautiful thing, and a natural part of life. I would never expect or teach my future daughter to practice abstinence before marriage. Instead I will her early on about sexuality and contraceptives. I will teach her to make wise decisions when the time comes, and implement in her a healthy view on sex and sexuality. I'll teach her that women are sexual beings just like men, we like and enjoy sex just as much as men. If you have a pool and don't teach your kids how to swim, they will drown in it. Even if you told them NOT to get in the pool, guess what? The second you leave the house, they'll jump right in. Just because young women are supposed to save themselves for marriage doesn't mean that they do. Just look at the teen mom statistics in Gambia.

~I'm the Boss Lady~