The Gambian Cultural Week: A Catwalk For Walking Fashion Disasters!

Photo: ethicalgambia.com

Any Gambian living in Scandinavia knows what July in Oslo means. Yuuuuup, THE GAMBIAN CULTURAL WEEK!! This year is even extra special as the Cultural Week is celebrating it's 25th anniversary. Brace yourselves, coz it's about to go down!!! LOL I simply can't wait for the dvds to come out so I can get a good laugh. Watching the cultural week is pure comedy, lemme tell ya. And it gets worse every year. Just when I think I've seen the worst fashion disasters, someone always manages to top the previous year's fragganacle and take it all the way out.

The thing is, I used to love the annual cultural week. It's literally a whole week with parties and gatherings with my people, it was supa fun. I think it stopped being fun for me about 5-6 years ago when it turned into a week long fashion parade. Why the fvck are we tryna compete with each other? I don't get it....Now it has become a see-and-be-seen event, where especially the women go all out with the outfits. It's all about the outfits now, designer dresses and purses and all the bling-bling that would make a Snoop Dogg video look boring. But the cherry on top, the crème de la crème is the make-up and hair dos. LOL I'm even chuckling while typing this. I done seen pictures that would highly qualify for www.youknowyoudeadazzwrong.com, or better yet www.hotghettomess.com. 


There's too much rachet fvckery going on, besides the fashion disasters parading around. This is the time for the "playas" to prey on the young girls. And when I say girls...I mean little girls. 17-18 year old kids thinking they're grown. And these men, and I use that term very loosely, have no shame in their game. See, these so-called playas chase younger and younger girls, I guess cuz they realize that older women know they're losers so instead they'll rap some foolish game to the youngins. And why the hell are the parties filled with these little girls anyway? I went to the youth parties up until I was 20-21, while the youth parties these days consists of babies down to 11! Times sure have changed.....but I digress.


Back to the ratchedness. LOL this is NOT how it's done, my sistas.
Exhibit A:

Your eyebrows are supposed to look NATURAL! That means either black or brown, not red or purple. It looks crazy and ridicules, please stop it!  





Exhibit B:

*sigh* I love make-up, I really do. And I like experimenting with colors too. However, I like my make-up to enhance my features, not look like the rainbow exploded on my face. You don't have to use ALL the colors on your palette at the same time or match each and every color in your outfit. I know we love colorful and shiny shyt, but damn!


And third, but definitely not least, the hair. I aint even gonna get into the fvcked up skin bleaching coz that's a whole 'nother post on its own. Ladies: purple, red, orange or fire-engine red are NOT appropriate highlight colors for the wig/weave, especially if you're over the age of 15. STOP IT! And your hair color is definitely not supposed to match your outfit. No lie, last year there was a lady with purple in her hair to match her purple dress, purple purse, and shoes. LOL I understand color coordinating, but that shyt is not what's hot in the streets.

For this year's 25th anniversary I know the fashionistas and label hoes are gonna take it all out. There's nothing wrong with designer clothes if you can afford it, but the sad thing is many of these label h*es are living waaay beyond their means. Why are you tryna stunt on me when errybody knows that your boyfriend/husband is a drug dealer? So your money is supposed to impress me? Girl, sit yo azz down cuz I aint impressed at all. You can always tell the ones who try too damn hard, they're always trying to outshine the elegant and classy ladies. Yup, can't wait to watch this entertainment.

~I'm the Boss Lady~

Are You In Tune With Your Star Player?

You are your star playa

Mini-Me and I were discussing female stuff while running, and we started talking about make-up and how some women can't even go to the mail box without splashing on tons of it on. And I told her that I'm glad she's not one of those coz she's soooo beautiful just the way she is. I love love make-up, but I use it to enhance my God-given beauty, not to create a whole 'nother face. It's hard being a (Black) woman these days. We're bombarded left, right and center about how we should or shouldn't look and you gotta have a strong self-esteem and be self -confident or it'll start getting to you. Nope, self-esteem and self-confidence are not the same thing. You can have confidence in yourself and/abilities and lack self-esteem.

From merriam-webster.com:
Self-esteem: a confidence and satisfaction in oneself, self-respect
Self-confidence: confidence in oneself and in one's powers and abilities


I have great self-esteem, I think I'm the shyt! lol I'm so in tune with my star playa it's ridicules.



And ladies, lemme let you in on a lil secret. Fvck your L. Vuitton bags, Gucci clothes and Louboutin pumps. You can look like the baddest chick walking this earth, but all that aint shyt if you lack self-esteem. The most valuable accessory you can parade around is self-esteem and confidence. No amount of top notch, Hollywood make-up or designer clothes can make you feel good if you have low self-esteem. It's sexy as hell. And that, my friend, aint anything you can buy at the store. It comes from within.

 



Many physically gorgeous women walk around feeling like nothing because they need validation of their greatness by other people. So how they feel about themselves is completely in the hands of other people, which is very very sad. Stop believing what the media feeds us, NOBODY is perfect. All those pictures of "perfect" women on magazine covers are PHOTOSHOPPED. We all have stretchmarks and cellulite, some of us have bad skin. Yes, those heffas got the same problems. So why are you trying to be perfect?

Have you ever seen a Morris Chestnut look-alike walking around with a not so physically attractive woman (yea yea yea I know attractiveness is subjective but there are universally FOINE people out there, people we all can agree on are gorgeous) and you thought to yourself DAMN!!! how the hell did she snag him?? She might not be a 10, but SHE thinks she's a 10 and that's ALL that matters and it's sexy and attractive. If you think you're the shyt, you'll give out those vibes and other people will start thinking you're the shyt. Other people see you through your lenses. You are your star playa. Katt Williams said it best, you have to be in tune with your star playa. Fvck what they talkin about, how are YOU doin today? 

Take a good look in the mirror every day and love the person you see. Stand there until you get in tune with your star playa. If you like yourself, other people will like you...and if they don't them fvck'em!! lol

~I'm the Boss Lady~

Holding On When There's Nothing To Hold On To

I'm a huge fan of marriage. I believe in this beautiful union that binds 2 people together, for better and for worse - man & woman, woman &woman, man & man - it really doesn't matter. Anti-gay people please get over yourselves! Two people who decide to share their lives together is a beautiful thing. Now, people get married for a lot of different reasons. Yeah, love is a wonderful thing, but that alone aint gonna keep a couple together. Fvck what you heard! And it sure as hell aint gonna pay the bills or put food on the table. A marriage needs a solid foundation in order for it to blossom in a healthy manner. And even then, with a diamond solid foundation, a marriage can still deteriorate.

I know some people end their marriages for some stupid shyt. Some people don't even try, I guess when the honeymoon phase wears off and reality kicks in they don't want to face the ugly truth. BUT some people stay when there's nothing left. Just because you vowed to stay with someone forever doesn't mean that you have to put up with shyt. Sometimes you just have to throw in the towel and call it quits, and there is no shame in that. Sometimes you gotta know when to leave and you might just be better off.

Photo: diyfather.com

Even though divorce is much more common in the Gambian society now, women are still side-eyed when they decide to leave their husbands. You're supposed to stay in the marriage for the kids, and make it work regardless. That is sooooo wrong!! Sometimes kids are better off with their parents apart. Kids aren't stupid, they know when things aint right. When mama's sad and miserable, the kids know.

I hate when I hear Gambians say about a woman what a good wife she is because she's keeping her marriage together when errbody can see that he's an azz-hole and good-for-nothing-husband. Marriage is not the end all-be all for women. Please stop brainwashing little girls into believing that a husband is the best thing that could happen to her.

More Gambian women - African women in general- are getting an education and careers and increasingly independent. Many women don't need a man to take care of them (being financially dependent), one of the major reasons women stayed in fvcked-up marriages, coz where would they go if they left their husbands? Many women have a choice now, even the choice to NOT get married. Although according to what I've heard growing up, a husband is a woman's key to Jannah (Islamic conception of paradise) - I'm not really sure what the Quran says about that. Either way, ladies: it's better to be happy on your own than miserable with a douche-bag. I can do bad all by myself comes to mind..............

~I'm the Boss Lady~

Friendships Are Like Bank Accounts

Friendships are like bank accounts

I think friend is on of the most abused words ever. Right next to love. How many times do we just throw the word friend around? She's a friend of mine. He's an old friend. There's a world of difference between an acquaintance and a friend. We all have plenty of acquaintances, but how many of us have true friends?

I'm truly blessed with true friends. I have a few friends that I know I can count on no matter what. I've written before about the importance of maintaining the bond to your girlfriends. After a lot of shyt that has went down with "friends" I had to reevaluate who I call friends. Hell, I'll be the first to admit that I've been too damn trusting and naive about people. I used to think that if i treat a person as a friend, that the person will treat me likewise uhm..no ma'am, it doesn't work that way. People are just fvcked up like that. And if you didn't see it coming then you're in for a big-azz surpise.

 See, friendships are very much like bank accounts. In order for a bank account to balance, you have to make deposits as well as withdrawals. No, I aint talking about a damn credit account lol but a debit account. This is how friendships are, you give (deposit) and you take (withdraw). Do you know what happens with your account if you keep withdrawing excessively? Yup, a negative balance and a shytload of overdraft fees. And no, you can't close the account until you pay them their money. I apply this logic to friendships. Sometimes you have to delete the whole gotdamn account because of it's toxic nature. I found myself doing just that....closing friendship accounts that just didn't balance, and boi what a relief!

Letting go of someone you considered a friend is almost as painful as losing a boyfriend. I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that someone I loved and treated like a sister would be so trifling. Was it something I did or said? Didn't do or say? Either way, the friendship account is closed, terminated, finito! You can no longer enjoy the services of my bank. You can come inside the bank - meaning that we're cool, I'll say whatup when we meet and shyt, but you can no longer enjoy the services of said bank. You've violated the terms, conditions and agreements so now your trifling behind can open an account in another bank. Ima burn this muthafvckin bridge on your azz. Good riddance!

Now I can spend quality time with my true friends, those who wish me nothing but good in life, those who have no envy or resentment, those who cheer me on when something good happens to me and stand by my side when life gets rough....


~I'm the Boss Lady~