Holding On When There's Nothing To Hold On To

I'm a huge fan of marriage. I believe in this beautiful union that binds 2 people together, for better and for worse - man & woman, woman &woman, man & man - it really doesn't matter. Anti-gay people please get over yourselves! Two people who decide to share their lives together is a beautiful thing. Now, people get married for a lot of different reasons. Yeah, love is a wonderful thing, but that alone aint gonna keep a couple together. Fvck what you heard! And it sure as hell aint gonna pay the bills or put food on the table. A marriage needs a solid foundation in order for it to blossom in a healthy manner. And even then, with a diamond solid foundation, a marriage can still deteriorate.

I know some people end their marriages for some stupid shyt. Some people don't even try, I guess when the honeymoon phase wears off and reality kicks in they don't want to face the ugly truth. BUT some people stay when there's nothing left. Just because you vowed to stay with someone forever doesn't mean that you have to put up with shyt. Sometimes you just have to throw in the towel and call it quits, and there is no shame in that. Sometimes you gotta know when to leave and you might just be better off.

Photo: diyfather.com

Even though divorce is much more common in the Gambian society now, women are still side-eyed when they decide to leave their husbands. You're supposed to stay in the marriage for the kids, and make it work regardless. That is sooooo wrong!! Sometimes kids are better off with their parents apart. Kids aren't stupid, they know when things aint right. When mama's sad and miserable, the kids know.

I hate when I hear Gambians say about a woman what a good wife she is because she's keeping her marriage together when errbody can see that he's an azz-hole and good-for-nothing-husband. Marriage is not the end all-be all for women. Please stop brainwashing little girls into believing that a husband is the best thing that could happen to her.

More Gambian women - African women in general- are getting an education and careers and increasingly independent. Many women don't need a man to take care of them (being financially dependent), one of the major reasons women stayed in fvcked-up marriages, coz where would they go if they left their husbands? Many women have a choice now, even the choice to NOT get married. Although according to what I've heard growing up, a husband is a woman's key to Jannah (Islamic conception of paradise) - I'm not really sure what the Quran says about that. Either way, ladies: it's better to be happy on your own than miserable with a douche-bag. I can do bad all by myself comes to mind..............

~I'm the Boss Lady~